Guiding Your Family toward Emotional Health episode 4
Michelle Frauenshuh: [00:00:00] And if you find that your belief around the word of the Lord, and the Bible, is not matching with what that counselor is saying, if you're finding things where it's really not lining up with your belief system, then I would just steer away from that counselor. It's completely fine then to move in another direction.
John Yoder: Greetings, everybody. Pastor John Yoder here. Welcome back to our podcast series, Guiding Your Family Toward Emotional Health. The title of today's episode is How to Choose a Christian Counselor. Practical Steps to Find and Interview Potential Counselors.
For many who have come to the United States from around the world, it's very difficult to identify anybody that's in your community, in your language, that's affordable, and as Christians, most importantly, that lines up with our [00:01:00] value systems. And today we want to give you tips to do precisely that.
Last time, at the end of our podcast, I shared with you a website resource page that lists Christian counselors around the country and counselors in many different languages. That webpage is www.immigrantministry.com/nationwide. So today, as our four presenters share with you about the possibility of searching for help online, you will find many of the most useful sources on that webpage. Again, it's www.immigrantministry.com/nationwide.
Last time, we met four different Christian counselors who shared with us, and those same four are returning today. Last time they introduced themselves, but let me just briefly remind you who they are. Gisella Arias is a first generation Costa Rican. She is a [00:02:00] clinical psychologist. Irv Tang is a second generation Chinese American, and he is a biblical counselor at churches. Moses Saldivar is a second generation Mexican American. He is a pastoral counselor. And Michelle Fraunschuh is a Caucasian American who has lived and studied in China, and she is also a clinical psychologist.
So as we start out, one of the most important things that we want to say, that in finding any kind of help, it is of primary importance that we find somebody who shares our Christian beliefs. Many of you who have come to the United States have not finished high school. You don't have a 12th grade degree. And it's easy to be threatened and intimidated by somebody with a master's degree or a doctorate. Or even if somebody claims to be a Christian and claims to follow Christ but they teach a wrong way, it's easy to be intimidated by [00:03:00] their degrees.
Let me stress to you that we always trust the voice of God, the voice of the Holy Spirit, and the voice of the Word of God. And right now, Gisella is going to share with us how we can always trust our instincts to follow the Word of God.
Gisella Arias: I will give the community some steps to follow if they are looking for counseling or they're looking for that therapy, and they find services that there are not Christ-based or Christian-based counseling.
First. Don't wait for the therapist to interview you. You interview the therapist. Ask questions. That initial consultation is very important for you to ask that therapist, What do you think? about Judeo-Christianity practices? What do you think about the Bible? Where do you do volunteer work? Some counselors [00:04:00] go and they do volunteer work in in, churches and schools, and they have a very open mind to understand the human being. So just research the background of that therapist and make sure that it's not against your integrity as a Christian.
And also, I will say, trust your instinct. Trust the voice of the Holy Spirit talking to inside of you. Sometimes, Maybe if even the person said, Yes, I have a Master in Theology, I have a Doctor in Theology, and I am a Master in Therapy, but you feel like something is not adding up inside of you, just pray trust the Holy Spirit that He's going to guide you to that person. Start with that. Start with praying for this process in your life, and He will guide you.
John Yoder: Michelle gives us some additional insights on best ways to vet a counselor.
Michelle Frauenshuh: I would encourage you to [00:05:00] interview to see if they're a good fit. That's completely fine. I think the other thing you can do is, there's typically a bio on the website about that individual where you can get a pretty good sense of who they are.
I would look on LinkedIn and just see what else they're involved in, what other ministries they're maybe involved in. And get a sense that way. I also would go into those counseling sessions with discernment. And if you find that your belief around the word of the Lord, and the Bible, is not matching with what that counselor is saying, now that can be a little tricky if you don't want to hear something you don't want to hear about making change, but if you're finding things where it's really not lining up with your belief system, then I would just steer [00:06:00] away from that counselor. It's completely fine then to move in another direction.
John Yoder: Michelle also emphasizes that we should never be threatened or intimidated because somebody has a license or a degree or is called a professional. And she states that the term professional doesn't mean a person is always correct. It just means that they attended a required number of classes, did a required number of homework to get a degree. Never be intimidated by a title. Stand by your beliefs.
Michelle Frauenshuh: Even if they have the title of professional, it does not mean that they know everything at all. It just means they sat through more school and have a piece of paper to prove it. That's all it means.
John Yoder: As you begin the process of looking for a Christian counselor, it's always best if you find somebody in your community who speaks your language, but that may not be possible. You might speak a language that's less common in the United States. You might live in a small [00:07:00] community. But there is another resource that is very important for you. And right now Pastor Moses is going to share why everyone should be open to considering online counseling.
Moses Saldivar: The one thing that we do have available to us that we didn't have even 20 years ago are things like we have right now, video calling and things of that nature. To where you can still have a lot of those conversations just over the phone, but also over video calls. And so that really does remove some of the barrier of location. That also can be removed depending on where you're at, the barrier of being able to make time for these types of things. So I would say, don't be afraid to embrace technology to help you have these conversations. In ethnic cultures in general, we tend to be a little bit more warm, and so the idea of talking to somebody through a screen doesn't sound as appealing.
I know for me, if you give me the [00:08:00] choice on having a video call or can I prolong it or put it off for another week, so I get the opportunity to actually go and shake your hand or give you a hug. I'll probably put it off for a week if we can do that, unless it's like something that has to be addressed right now.
But short of that, I've developed, I would say, meaningful relationships over technology as well. And it's what we make of it, and I think it's another tool that the Lord has provided us to be able to bridge some of those gaps that we haven't had ever in the history of humanity, and that should be something that we embrace.
John Yoder: Pastor Gisella gives us some tips for looking for ethnic counselors online.
Gisella Arias: So I will encourage people to look for online directories. We can find the Psychology Today, they have in Spanish and in English. In fact, the Psychology Today, they have therapists in Latin America. They are providing services for the Latino community in United States, but they are affiliated with [00:09:00] Psychology Today.
So they will have the credentials that you need. And because it's important to know who has the certifications, who has been going through a training. We do have that universities and community clinics also have resources for the Latino community. Now we have the telehealth services you can also contact the psychology association back in your country and ask if they can recommend someone that has provide providing telehealth. After the pandemic we have opened up this world of telehealth. It has been an amazing opportunity for us to access these services.
John Yoder: So far, we've been talking about the kind of counseling resources that are available in clinics. But right now, Irv is going to tell us about resources available to [00:10:00] us in churches.
Irv Tang: There are actually many churches that do have counseling ministries. The church that I go to, Westgate Church does have a counseling ministry.
And it is it is free of charge. We don't charge anything for it. We don't do it as a vocation, Nancy and I. But we really do it just as a volunteer. There's other churches. We also consult through our church in Eden Prairie, Grace Church, and they also have a wonderful counseling ministry. I think the first thing I would do is just check on a local church in your area, a Bible based church, and really just ask questions.
If they don't have a counseling ministry, they might know somebody, or maybe talking to the pastor, the associate pastor, the the person that's in charge of care ministries, and I think you'll be surprised to find quite a bit of resources that are available out there.
John Yoder: In episodes one and [00:11:00] two of this podcast series, we spoke at length about the need for both professional and non-professional counseling. A professional counselor has a master's degree or above and is licensed, but in addition also need pastors and everyday lay people who simply learn a lot about emotional health and share it with others. And right now Irv is going to share with us the need for both professional and non-professional counseling.
Irv Tang: One thing that We have, my wife and I, we do have a master's degree in biblical counseling. But I would say that you don't really need any sort of master's degree, you don't need to have certain letters behind your name to be able to counsel. I'm just going to read from Romans 15:14, where the Apostle Paul says “I am myself am convinced my brothers and sisters, you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with knowledge”.[00:12:00]
So that is quite a statement saying that as brothers and sisters in Christ we are encouraged to come alongside those that are suffering, that are going through hardships, and again, full of goodness, filled with knowledge, and competent, not in ourselves, but in God's word and the truth and the biblical principles that it provides.
John Yoder: Often there is a stigma around seeking counseling. There's the thought that if you want to talk with somebody, you're broken, you're shameful, you're messed up, and you need to be fixed. And right now, Pastor Gisella wants to exhort us that all of us should want to grow in understanding emotional health. We should all want to understand depression, anxiety, addiction, and even more. And we need to make it a normal part of the Christian life that we learn about these things.
Gisella Arias: You don't look for counseling just when you are in a crisis. You look for counseling because [00:13:00] you know that in a multitude of counselors you have wisdom. So if I think we all need wisdom every day of our lives, not just in moments that we are in crisis, and in more moments that we feel that we have a problem or things are getting out of our hands, we should look for counsel in every aspect of our lives.
John Yoder: Some of you who are listening in work long, hard hours. Maybe you work 60, 65, or more hours a week. You don't have time to look for a counselor, and maybe you feel discouraged because you don't have time to fully understand what your children experience at school, or what your children are seeing and being influenced by on social media.
You feel overwhelmed, and you don't know what to do. I want to encourage you. The greatest power that any of us have is not counseling. It [00:14:00] is the gospel of Jesus Christ, which God says is the power of God unto salvation. We have the power of the Word of God, which is stronger than anything. And we have the power of prayer that brings down God's blessings even when we can't access all the professional resources we want.
Right now Pastor Moses is going to close us with a very encouraging story of how God used his mother's prayers to bring him to faith.
Moses Saldivar: What I did have in my mom was a God-fearing woman who she knew that even though she may not be able to be as present as she would like financially, maybe didn't have the things, the finances to give us the things that she would have liked to give us or to provide. But what she did have was the ability to pray.
And I would say that a big part of the reason and why I ended up coming to [00:15:00] faith was because I had a mom who was praying for me. Constantly still does to this day. And I know that for a fact. And when I reflected back on my life and even in those moments where I said, okay, Lord where were you? Like, I had to go through this. I had to go through these difficult situations suffering. Where were you?
And what he brought to mind was my mom. And her praying for me. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and she'd be leaning next to the bed and laying hands on me, praying over me.
Your relationship with the Lord, the way that you intercede on their behalf is probably the most important thing that you can do, and don't minimize that. It may not happen in our timelines, but he does hear you, and he is faithful, and he desires the same thing that you desire for your kids, as it concerns them having a real [00:16:00] relationship with him.
John Yoder: So friends, I hope that in these first four episodes, you've become convinced that it is important for people of all generations to work through emotional issues in their lives. And I hope you've begun the process of looking for resources, whether those are professional or pastoral.
Beginning with next episode, I'm going to introduce you to even more marvelous Christian counselors, and we're going to delve into specific areas, such as depression, anxiety, addiction, social media, pornography, video gaming, and more. I hope these will be a blessing to all generations in your household. We'll see you then.
